Beyond People-Pleasing
with Special Guest Terri Cole
On-Demand Instant Access
$149
When competence hides exhaustion
Many people are quietly holding up the world—managing logistics, smoothing over tension, remembering everyone’s needs, and stepping in before things fall apart. From the outside, it looks like competence and reliability. On the inside, it can feel like pressure, resentment, and a deep disconnection from what we actually need.
Psychotherapist and boundary expert Terri Cole coined the term high-functioning codependency to describe this pattern of over-giving and over-responsibility—one that often goes unnoticed precisely because it looks so capable. In Terri’s work, these patterns are adaptations shaped by early relational environments. Many people learned to stay safe, connected, or valued by anticipating others’ needs, managing emotional dynamics, and becoming indispensable long before they had the option not to.
In this Learning Lab, Terri and Frank come together to explore how these patterns form, how they live in our nervous systems and relationships, and what it means to move toward greater self-respect—without losing care for others.
About the Program
As host of this Learning Lab, Frank Anderson brings an integrative, trauma-informed perspective to understanding people-pleasing, over-functioning, and chronic responsibility. Throughout the program, Frank serves as the through-line—helping frame the conversation, slow it down, and place these patterns within a broader understanding of trauma, development, and survival.
In the main session, our special guest, Terri Cole, will explore high-functioning codependency—where it often begins, how it shows up in adult relationships, and why people who are “the responsible one” can find it so difficult to step back or say no. She will examine the internal pressure that often accompanies this role, including the fear of letting others down, the discomfort of not being needed, and the deeply held belief that one’s value lies in holding everything together.
Terri will address the emotional and relational cost of always taking care of everything, including chronic resentment, exhaustion, and the gradual loss of connection to one’s own wants and limits. She will explore why boundary-setting is rarely just a skill issue, but often a deeply emotional process tied to attachment, identity, and long-standing loyalty to roles that once ensured belonging or safety.
Bringing his integrative, trauma-informed clinical lens into dialogue with Terri’s work, Frank Anderson serves as the primary integrative guide for this Learning Lab. He helps translate insight into understanding by synthesizing developmental history, attachment dynamics, and nervous system organization, and by supporting participants in integrating these perspectives across clinical, relational, and lived experience. Together, they invite careful reflection on where over-doing remains protective, how these patterns are maintained over time, and how a more self-honoring way of relating can emerge gradually—without withdrawal, rigidity, or disruption to meaningful relationships.
Key Themes We’ll Explore
What high-functioning codependency means—and how it differs from classic stereotypes
How early roles and expectations shape over-giving and over-managing
The emotional and relational cost of being “the one who always handles it”
Why boundary-setting can feel threatening or destabilizing
How these patterns live in the nervous system and relational field
Pathways toward more balanced, self-honoring care for ourselves and others
This Program Is For
People who are capable, reliable, and often carrying more than their share—at work, in relationships, or within their families
Those who recognize patterns of people-pleasing, over-functioning, or chronic responsibility, even when things appear “fine” on the outside
Mental health clinicians, therapists, coaches, and healthcare professionals seeking a trauma-informed, nervous-system-aware understanding of high-functioning codependency
Clinicians interested in how early roles, attachment dynamics, and survival strategies shape adult relational patterns and show up in clinical work
Practitioners looking to expand clinical language around boundaries, over-responsibility, and self-respect in ways that are non-pathologizing and relationally attuned
Helpers, caregivers, and leaders who notice these dynamics in themselves or the people they support
Anyone seeking language and understanding for patterns that developed for a reason, and who is interested in exploring change without blame, urgency, or self-criticism
This Learning Lab supports reflective clinical practice and case conceptualization rather than prescriptive techniques. Content explores high-functioning codependency as an adaptive survival strategy, with attention to developmental context, nervous system dynamics, and relational patterns. Clinicians may find this program especially relevant for integrating boundary work into trauma-informed care and for deepening relational attunement with clients.
About the Learning Lab
The Learning Lab is designed to offer both depth and digestion: time to learn from trusted voices and space to reflect. Rather than rushing toward change, this format invites thoughtful awareness and realistic shifts that unfold over time, held and led by Frank as host.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
This Learning Lab is designed for a wide range of participants—mental health clinicians, coaches, helping professionals, and individuals interested in understanding relational patterns, boundaries, and the impact of early survival strategies. Whether you’re grounded in somatic therapy, attachment work, parts-informed approaches, or you’re simply looking for insight into your own lived experience, the program offers thoughtful, accessible teaching that can support both personal reflection and professional growth.
No prior familiarity is required. While some attendees may know Frank’s writing and teaching, each Learning Lab is structured to be fully accessible whether you’re new to his integrative approach or looking to deepen your understanding.
This on-demand Learning Lab includes a recorded session with Frank and Terri Cole, featuring teaching, dialogue, and reflective prompts. The session is available to watch immediately after purchase, at your own pace.
Absolutely.
The Learning Lab is educational, reflective, and supportive. Many participants attend because the material resonates with their own history. You are encouraged to move at your own pace, take breaks as needed, and seek personalized support outside the program if emotions arise.
Please note: This program is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for therapy.
The Learning Lab offers clinical insight, case-informed discussion, and developmentally and neuroscience-informed framing, but it is not a step-by-step clinical certification program.
Instead, it supports:
• reflective understanding of integrative concepts
• deeper understanding of patterns as adaptive
• integrative, relational ways of conceptualizing experiences
Clinicians often find the material directly applicable to their work, while lay participants value the clarity and validation it brings to their own relational dynamics.
After purchase, you'll receive a confirmation email with instructions for accessing your recordings. You can log in at any time through your account on training.frankandersonmd.com.
You'll have lifetime access to the program recording. In the unlikely event that access ever needs to be removed, you'll receive at least 30 days notice.
You may request a full refund within 7 days of purchase. After that point, all sales are final.
Refunds may incur a nominal processing charge (approximately $25).
We are unable to offer partial refunds, credits, or prorated adjustments. If promotions or sale prices occur before or after your purchase, we cannot retroactively adjust your registration fee.
Please reach out to our team anytime by emailing support@frankandersonmd.com
We’re happy to help with any questions you may have.
You don’t have to stop caring.
You just don’t have to disappear in the process.
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For support with courses, programs, or consultation groups, please contact programs@frankandersonmd.com